In this mentorship course I’m taking (and loving), we were asked to write a list of things we complain about. When I did, I was surprised and a bit embarrassed that so many were about my partner.
I don’t always speak my displeasure when he leaves his tools out (again), or he’s late (again), but he must feel my displeasure. And I feel sad about that.
So why do I complain? It all comes from the thought that if he does things differently, I’ll be happier.
But wait a minute. Do I really want to give my power to another person or situation? No. I don’t. What I want is to take care of my own state and create happiness with myself, something I am now taking on far more seriously.
And complaining is a good one to get a handle on, because doing it creates a kind of glue that keeps sticking us to things we don’t want to get stuck to. It’s all part of the universal law that we get MORE of what we give our attention to.
And perhaps even more importantly, complaining puts our attention out there instead of INSIDE ourselves. And when I move my attention inside, I can ask what I need to give myself right now so I can feel better and do that. Not only does that feel better but it’s were change happens.
So, in review, here’s the tool:
The COMPLAINT REMOVER
Directions: 1) Notice when you’re complaining. 2) Remind yourself that continuing to complain will make what you don’t want get gluier and more likely to stick around. 3) Ask yourself what you need to do right now to create better feelings for yourself.
How about you? Do you complain? Do you want to stop? I’d love to hear how this topic affects YOU!
Was this helpful? If so, please let me know. Or, if you think it will help someone else, please pass it on. I’d so appreciate that.
Your devoted coach,
Karen