Loving Ourselves

December 11, 2019 By Karen Leave a Comment

Loving ourselves is one of the most important things you can do for your own personal development. Why? Because love is the most vital nourishment you can receive and most of us are sadly lacking in it.

Our need for love is a primal prerequisite for survival. It’s been like that since your arrival on the planet. Newborns can be fed all kinds of nutrient-rich food, but without love, they get a medical condition called “failure to thrive.” To do well, we all need copious amounts of food from the heart. Nothing else comes close to it. As babies, we have to rely on the adults around us to fulfill this need, but as adults, loving ourselves is something we can do and when we do, we thrive.

Four reasons loving ourselves is so important.

When we love ourselves, we are taking care of one of our core needs. This gives us a sense of personal sovereignty. This will not only make us more attractive to others, it frees up the people around us to not feel required to love us. They can then love us, not because it’s demanded of them, but because they want to.
People who love themselves usually radiate a warm energy that’s very appealing to be around. They usually have a glow. We find ourselves wanting to be near them, as you might want to be around a warm fire.
Loving ourselves opens our hearts. When our hearts are open, it’s easier to feel connected to others and feel compassionate towards them. Even if those others are different in some ways from us, our open hearts help us to know that other people want the same things we want. Like us, they want to be happy. Like us, they want to be healthy. To be loved. Really, we are all same—vulnerable hearts beating with aspirations for a good life.
Lastly, it is my believe that our human hearts are connected to the great cosmic heart. Whatever you call this spiritual energy, this huge heart floods its beneficence through the universe, making the sun shine and the flowers grow. When we open our hearts and love ourselves, we usually feel connected to this huge love. When this connection is strong, we know we can relax because we are aware that we are floating in a vast ocean of beneficence. How wonderful is that.

Picture of an open heart

Want to open your heart?

Here are two resources. The first is from Louise Hay who was one of first people to talk extensively about self-love. The second is a little book called, Love Yourself Like Your Life Depended On It by Kamal Ravikant, which tells abou his own journey to love himself. It’s a short but poignant read.

Speaking of books, I also have a section in my new book, Find Your Inner Gold, 21 Powerful Tools to Bring Back Your Shine, but, because I’m committed to your personal growth and there’s no time like that present, I want to offer you a short exercise you can do right now that will help to open your heart. We are so used to working from our heads, that we often forget about the heart, but this exericse can be very powerful.

Put your hand on your over heart right now and just breathe into it for a few moments. The heart often has a lot of say, so you may experience some feelings as you do this. If so, just let that be. Just keep breathing and feeling this amazing electromagnetic field that lives in your chest. It’s dozens of times more powerful that anything above your shoulders.

Now, see if you can connect your own heart to the huge heart of the cosmos. Feel that spiritual heart cascading lovingness into you, filling you with warm loving kindness. Let yourself float in the ocean of it for a while.

Feel any different?

I thought so.

Confusion About Confusion

November 27, 2019 By Karen Leave a Comment

This morning I was watching a video on how we make ourselves confused. The video was from Donald Miller and is one of a series in his Business Made Simple Daily offering. These videos are short, only 3 or 4 minutes long and give the tricks and tools of running a business. Many of them talk about the principals in his book, StoryBrand, which I highly recommend.

This morning he was talking about how we sometimes choose to be confused and what we can do if we find ourselves in that situation. This is important because confusion is the quagmire of decision making and being successful in our chosen professions means we have to make decisions quickly and well.

So, how do we choose to get confused?

Let’s say you have a staff person that’s difficult, very difficult and you’re thinking about letting that person go. The minute you think this, you remember the health issues this person has and wince at the thought of adding to their burdens. Besides that, work-wise, you need this person and don’t know how you’ll find the time to interview and hire someone else. On and on the mind will go, throwing more and more complexity at you until you don’t know what to do.

Donald suggests this formula. Say to yourself: “The unfortunate truth of this situation is _____________________, therefore, the right action to take is ______________”

This statement will help you drop out of your head and into your body. I like to tweak Donald’s sentence so it reads: “Even though I don’t want to admit it, the unfortunate, but barebone truth of this situation is ____________________, therefor the right action to take is ________________”

Picture of confusion

Confusion Can Be So Confusing!

It’s helpful to remember that “confusion” is a mind thing. Sentence Completions are a great way to drop out of the confusion and get down to basics. I discuss them in my book, Find Your Inner Gold, 21 Powerful Tools to Bring Back Your Shine. In the book, I also outline a kinesthetic exercise that will help access your body knowing. Here is one such technique you can try on your own:

Pick a situation you want to make a decision about. Stand and imagine that situation in front of you. Close your eyes and just breathe for a minute or two. As you settle, notice whether your body is feeling an inclination forward, so you’re moving closer to this situation, or away, so you would be more distant from the situation. The inclination to go forward or back may be very subtle or it may be very strong. This will usually tell you what your body thinks about going forward or not. Or, if you truly are undecided, you may find yourself swaying from side to side. If that’s the case, you aren’t ready to make a decision.

If you’d like to learn more about these tools, please check out my book or contact me, and we can discuss how you can use these tools more effectively. My mission is to give people the tools to feel more in charge of themselves and their lives.

If you’d like to check out Don’s email, here’s the link:

Have a great week! I’m Canadian, so I’ve done my trial by turkey, but for my American friends, have a good one.

Are You Highly Sensitive?

November 20, 2019 By Karen Leave a Comment

Studies have shown that about 20% of the population are more affected by the stuff of life than others. Sounds are louder, lights are brighter, hurts are deeper. The ups and downs of living seem to affect those we call “sensitive” more than they affect others. I know because not only have I coached hundreds of sensitives, I consider myself to be one as well. It can be challenging being a highly sensitive person, but it can also be a gift. Here are some strategies that will make it easier to enjoy it.

Strategies that will help Highly Sensitive People:

1) Know that you are not weird, or dysfunctional, you just have a highly responsive nervous system, like millions of others.
2) Understand that sensitives are like canaries in a mine shaft, they can sense things more quickly than others. Yes, this can be a pain, but it can also be a wonderful ability. Consider it a gift and keep exploring how it can serve you and your family.

Diagram of a Highly Senstivie Person
3) Learn a variety of ways of calming yourself down or soothing yourself. It’s not an option for sensitives not to feel things deeply, but you can develop lots of ways to process the energetic stimulation. Being sensitive is a double edged sword in a way. Yes, you are probably more easily penetrable by outside events, but because of that very penetrability, some of the more subtle interventions like EFT, meditation and visualization can be highly effective for you.
4) Don’t wait until things are too much. Build in lots of spaces in your schedule so you don’t get overstimulated energetically in the first place. It’s better to be proactive than reactive.
5) If others accuse you of being “too sensitive”, understand that they are doing so because they think being tougher will save you hurt. But what will save you hurt is learning how to take care of yourself. So self-care is very important.

I was first introduced to the concept of the highly sensitive person through Elaine Aron’s work. I love her approach so she’s a great resource if you want to know more. She also has a great self-test at her WEBSITE

Tools For the Highly Sensitive People:

If you know you’re highly sensitive and would like to learn some specific tools to handle it better, please contact me.

IS SELF-MASTERY POSSIBLE?

October 22, 2019 By Karen Leave a Comment

SUPER SELF-MASTERY

How to Keep Your Power & Poise No Matter What

Tired of being reactive to other people’s stuff?
Frustrated by not feeling in charge, even over your thoughts and feelings?

As a personal development coach for decades, I’ve taught a LOT of people how to stay strong and centered in tough times. I want to share the tools I’ve learned with people who aren’t my clients, so I wrote the book, Find Your Inner Gold, 21 Powerful Tools to Bring Back Your Shine. The book is getting great reviews, but I want people to really understand and apply the tools, so I’ve developed a course called: SUPER SELF-MASTERY.

This is the first time I have offered this course online and I’m looking for a few people to try it out and give me feedback about it. In return I am discounting it significantly.

In this one-on-one six-week coaching program you will:

Deepen your connectedness to your authentic self.
Help you stay ‘home’ during challenges.
Become more in charge of your feelings, thoughts and behaviours.
Give you a wonderful sense of self-mastery and peace.

The program will teach you several self-mastery tools: Intention, Breathwork, Visualization, Meditation, EFT tapping protocols, Future Self work, Staunching Energy Drains, Daily Attunement, Kinesiology and Radical Self-Responsibility. To deepen your experience, there will be short, daily assignments on weekdays. To make sure you get the most out of the program, you will have unlimited email access to me for tweaking the tools, encouragement and accountability.

For more info, email me: karen@personalbest.org or call 705-634-8371.

If you’re ready to take charge of yourself and your life, this program could change everything.

Visualization is Brain Magic!

October 16, 2019 By Karen Leave a Comment

Visualization, Part Two:

I wanted to write to you about visualization again, because I know you’re interested in self-mastery and visualization is such a powerful tool for the process of creating.

Most of us believe what we see. Yet research shows that often, what we see has more to do with our expectations (which are based on our existing beliefs) than any supposed ‘reality’ out there. Placebos are a living example of this. An experiment a few years ago involved several people having knee surgery to reduce pain. Some of the participants had the surgery, but others had an exact replica of the surgery, but had nothing done beyond the incision. Remarkably, both groups reported similar reductions in pain. Why? Because the brain had been primed to expect that and rearranged what it perceived.

Our Brains Self-Select:

Our brains have powerful filters that let in certain thoughts and block others. The brain actually scans the world for evidence of what it knows and will often disregard what it doesn’t think is true. This is called “confirmation bias”. If you want to test this out yourself, tell yourself red cars are everywhere, then begin to notice how you start seeing a great number of them.

As uncomfortable as it might make you, what you believe is going to determine what you see. If you think rainy days are depressing, your brain will notice all the depressing things you encounter on days that it rains and not notice the lovely things.

If you want to change what you attract, you need to change your confirmation bias and get yourself very familiar with the vibrational pattern of what you want. This is why the tool of visualization which I discuss in my book, Your Inner Gold, 21 Powerful Tools to Bring Back Your Shine, is so important: it modulates your brain and your entire energetic system to vibrate in coherence with what you want. As Abraham Hicks says, “You can’t percieve apart from your vibration.”

The wonderful thing about visualization is that you can do it anywhere and anytime. Picture what you want already being true in your life and imagine it as vividly as you can, involving all of your senses. Start scanning the world for evidence of how this is true, even if that seems to be true just for others right now.

Make sure you take a moment to imagine all the lovely feelings you will experience when your visualization manifests. Let yourself feel proud, happy, excited, joyful, valued. Elevated emotions provide the ‘chemicals’ that catalyse the creation process. and feeling strong emotions will crank up your whole energetic system so it’s in alignment with what you want to create.

Then one day, you will wake up and realize that you’re living the very life that was only a dream a few years ago. I had that experience myself when I reviewed an old vision board I’d made a decade earlier. I realized, to my amazement, that I’d created 90% of everything on that board.

We all can do this. The brain is very powerful and everything we could ever want already exists. The task is to download it into your life. Visualize is one of the best tools you can use to do that.

To learn visualization or any other self-empowerment tools, check out my book, Find Your Inner Gold, 21 Powerful Tools to Bring Back Your Shine. You get the first 3 chapters free when you sign up for my newsletter. Click HERE. The book is also available for purchase at Amazon.ca