Have you ever noticed how much energy it takes not to feel fear? Fear is an emotion many of us resist because we simply don’t know how to let ourselves have it. And of all the emotions, it’s perhaps the most uncomfortable to experience.
The truth is, most of us are frightened of feeling fear. We have been taught that’s it a sign of weakness and don’t want to feel it or acknowledge it. You hear people say, “I’m sad right now.” Or, “I’m pissed off.” But when was the last time you heard someone say, “I’m frightened”? That’s because fear is the most avoided of all the emotions.
The problem is that in order not to feel afraid, you have to live a small life. You have to avoid a lot of situations and people that might provoke a fear reaction. That means that fear is controlling us and what we do. And it will control us until we own up to it and invite it into awareness.
I recently learned that someone I know has been diagnosed with a malignant brain tumour. They now face major surgery, then chemotherapy and radiation. That person’s life as he knows it is over.
I felt my own fear at hearing this news. Life can be so sudden, so brutal, and scary. I noticed myself wanting to push away the feelings, but I resisted and did some Inner Relationship Focussing to help me stay present. I use this process often on a variety of different issues and find it really helpful when I need to work with something I want to push away, whether it’s fear of anything else.
Here are the steps in case you want to allow something in yourself just to be there.
- Sit down beside it and acknowledge that its there.
- See it as just a PART of you. Be bigger than it no matter how intense or large it is.
- Listen deeply for its perspective.
- See if you can attune to what it needs or wants.
- Use the wisdom you get from it to live a truer more in-tune life.
If you’d like my help in facing any of your fears, contact me for a complimentary free idea session: Complimentary free idea session.