One of my favourite quotes is by Eleanor Roosevelt. She said,
“All the water in the world cannot drown you unless it gets inside of you.”
This has particular meaning for me because I used to be someone who took IN things that I shouldn’t. In other words, I took things personally.
I still do this sometimes, but less and less. Now, I’m on a quest to take FULL responsibility for the state of myself at any time, I’m always reminding myself that I have choices. And one of those is to say “Yes” or “No” to whatever anyone else throws my way. If I’m going to be in charge of my state, I need to be in charge of what goes
INTO my state.The man I live with has taught me this. I don’t think I’m alone in having a partner that I sometimes find tricky. If he’s not at his best, he can act a lot like a rhinoceros.
That horn of his can stab.
The thing is, he doesn’t mean to be a rhinoceros, (and most of the time, he isn’t) but my choice is always the same. Do I take his comment in and get hurt or do I just
give him a wide birth until he’s in a less rhinoceros type mood.
As you can imagine, giving him a wide birth is the better strategy. Then, when he’s back to his sweet self, I let myself move in closer again.
So, Eleanor is right. I can only get weighted down when I take in what I shouldn’t.
Which means I can no longer blame anyone for how I feel.
We live in a culture that blames so refusing to blame another for how you feel is a huge step towards personal empowerment. I can’t just be passive and put the responsibility on someone else. I have to take action. And take action I am.
It feels good. Very good.
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