DOES COACHING WORK?

May 13, 2021 By Karen Leave a Comment

We all know how difficult it is to change. Yet the world is shouting at us to do exactly that. And we want to change. Many of us yearn to change –we’re tired of the old ways of doing things. But we feel constricted, bound by our programming. By the time we’re adults, most of us have habits deeply etched into our neuro-programming and many of them are on automatic.

How, then, can we evolve ourselves to become our best selves, and live lives that are respectful of all other sentient beings on the planet?

This is where coaching can truly make a difference. Here’s why why it works:

1) As the famous writer Anais Nin once said, “We don’t see things as they are, we see things as WE are.” Therefore, we imagine that what we see out there is “reality” rather than just a projection of our own consciousness. Good coaches know this and help us to work with our perceptions. They help us look deeper than the issues we’re presenting and work with our patterns. Most importantly, they get us excited about seeing things differently and expanding our thinking in ways that catalyses us in exciting new ways.

2) Making changes usually feels uncomfortable. We love our habits, even if they don’t always serve us. Some people expect new behaviours to feel good right away and tell themselves “this doesn’t feel right” when they take a new action and as a result, slip back into the old ways. A good coach can help us understand the process of change and helps keep us on track and stay steady until the unfamiliar becomes familiar.

3) A coach will tell us things that family members and friends usually won’t. Also, because feedback is being delivered by someone with no agenda other than helping us be our best. This helps us to hear it more deeply and work with it without resistance.

4) Most of us have a far easier time breaking agreements we’ve made with ourselves than those we make with others. A coach can hold us accountable until we learn more how to do that ourselves.

5) Coaching gives us the experience of having someone truly believe in us and our ability to create what our hearts yearn for. Coaches work hard to help make that happen. And perhaps most importantly, they believe in us even when we have lost belief. This can be a game changer.

I have worked as a personal development coach for over 30 years so I’m very experienced in helping people change. My mission is to help people be fully in charge of themselves. I want to help more people do that. To that end, this spring, I’m offering something new: training sessions on specific tools. I’m calling the series, TOOLS FOR TAKING CHARGE.

Some may be offered as a group experience, but most will involve a 1-1 training that will give you an hour of training in a specific skill-set to help you manage your energy and put you in charge of how you think and feel about a challenging situation in your life. The sessions will be over the phone or Skype, or Zoom–your preference.

I will be offering a different ‘tool’ each newsletter for the next few weeks. Because I want to encourage people who’ve never experienced coaching with me before, I’m offering these 1 hour sessions at a “Gosh, I can’t resist that” price.

This week’s tool for taking charge is: Tapping.

Maybe you’d like to become more confident, or get over an upset feeling you have with someone, or want to handle a nagging health issue more resourcefully. Tapping can be effective with any issue that is causing you stress. It works by freeing up stuck emotional energy by stimulating specific energy points in body’s meridians. (These meridians are the same ones that acupuncturists use.

In this one hour tapping training, I will explore the physical and emotions symptoms of the situation you want to work with. I will then formulate a series of powerful statements that will target the physiological and psychological issues and after demonstrating the location of the points, I will take you through the protocol using these statements. (The specificity of the statements is important. Without this, the protocol has limited power as some of you might have experienced if you’ve tried to do it yourself.

At the end of the three-round process, you will be able to assess the change that’s taken place.
And the “Gosh, I can’t resist” price is $99.
I will give a full refund if you aren’t pleased with the outcome.
Please send me an email if you’d like to have one of these sessions or if you have questions.

That’s it for this week.

As always, I’m your biggest fan.

Karen

This Will Make You Smile

December 18, 2019 By Karen Leave a Comment

Photo of people smiling

A this time of year, we can all benefit from a smile. Even the commercials on TV seem eager to warm our hearts and get us smiling. Here are some 3-minute ads that will brighten your spirits. Please pass the smile on to others.

This one shows a man learning a new language so he can communicate with his grandchild.

English for Beginners

This video is a poignant one about a holiday with a loved one missing.

Family Members Who Are Gone

This video shows the generosity of a woman to a child.

Nicholas the Sweep

And one about how our faults can be put to good use.

And lastly, the Christmas concert. Delightful!

Christmas 2019

If you are new to my website, please consider signing up for weekly inspirations and tools geared to help you create your Best Self and a life that will make your Soul smile.The sign-up is at the top left of this page.

Have a wonderful holiday. Make sure you show as much love and kindness to yourself as you show to others.

As always, I’m cheering you on from the sidelines!

Loving Ourselves

December 11, 2019 By Karen Leave a Comment

Loving ourselves is one of the most important things you can do for your own personal development. Why? Because love is the most vital nourishment you can receive and most of us are sadly lacking in it.

Our need for love is a primal prerequisite for survival. It’s been like that since your arrival on the planet. Newborns can be fed all kinds of nutrient-rich food, but without love, they get a medical condition called “failure to thrive.” To do well, we all need copious amounts of food from the heart. Nothing else comes close to it. As babies, we have to rely on the adults around us to fulfill this need, but as adults, loving ourselves is something we can do and when we do, we thrive.

Four reasons loving ourselves is so important.

When we love ourselves, we are taking care of one of our core needs. This gives us a sense of personal sovereignty. This will not only make us more attractive to others, it frees up the people around us to not feel required to love us. They can then love us, not because it’s demanded of them, but because they want to.
People who love themselves usually radiate a warm energy that’s very appealing to be around. They usually have a glow. We find ourselves wanting to be near them, as you might want to be around a warm fire.
Loving ourselves opens our hearts. When our hearts are open, it’s easier to feel connected to others and feel compassionate towards them. Even if those others are different in some ways from us, our open hearts help us to know that other people want the same things we want. Like us, they want to be happy. Like us, they want to be healthy. To be loved. Really, we are all same—vulnerable hearts beating with aspirations for a good life.
Lastly, it is my believe that our human hearts are connected to the great cosmic heart. Whatever you call this spiritual energy, this huge heart floods its beneficence through the universe, making the sun shine and the flowers grow. When we open our hearts and love ourselves, we usually feel connected to this huge love. When this connection is strong, we know we can relax because we are aware that we are floating in a vast ocean of beneficence. How wonderful is that.

Picture of an open heart

Want to open your heart?

Here are two resources. The first is from Louise Hay who was one of first people to talk extensively about self-love. The second is a little book called, Love Yourself Like Your Life Depended On It by Kamal Ravikant, which tells abou his own journey to love himself. It’s a short but poignant read.

Speaking of books, I also have a section in my new book, Find Your Inner Gold, 21 Powerful Tools to Bring Back Your Shine, but, because I’m committed to your personal growth and there’s no time like that present, I want to offer you a short exercise you can do right now that will help to open your heart. We are so used to working from our heads, that we often forget about the heart, but this exericse can be very powerful.

Put your hand on your over heart right now and just breathe into it for a few moments. The heart often has a lot of say, so you may experience some feelings as you do this. If so, just let that be. Just keep breathing and feeling this amazing electromagnetic field that lives in your chest. It’s dozens of times more powerful that anything above your shoulders.

Now, see if you can connect your own heart to the huge heart of the cosmos. Feel that spiritual heart cascading lovingness into you, filling you with warm loving kindness. Let yourself float in the ocean of it for a while.

Feel any different?

I thought so.

Scanning for the Good

December 3, 2019 By Karen Leave a Comment

Watching the news lately can be a discouraging experience, which is why it’s all the more important to “Scan for the Good”, a practice more and more people are using to modulate their energy.

I know what you’re thinking, there’s a lot wrong out there–the climate emergency, divisive politics, GMOs, super bugs, identity theft, and on and on it goes. It’s hard not to shut down and stop listening. Yet, in my opinion, there has never been more of a reason to stay awake than now.

Picture of Scanning for the Good

Remember the story of the frog and the boiling water? If a frog was suddenly dunked in hot water, it would simply jump out and continue to live. But, if it was put in warm water that was then brought to a boil, it wouldn’t jump out. It would just get more and more used to the rising heat until it died.

In my opinion, there has never been more of reason to stay awake than now. These are not times to close down. We need to have our wits about us more than ever so we can do what it takes to change things around. All the more reason to be able to self-modulate so you can stay open and positive even in trying times. One of the best methods I know to stay positive is an exercise called “Scan for the Good.”

“Scanning for the Good” doesn’t mean we deny what’s bad

Scanning for the Good doesn’t mean we deny the bad, it just means that we give equal attention to the positive. EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) teacher, Dawson Church, is writing a book called the Bliss Brain. He says he’s writing it to remind us that when we focus on the positive, “we can hear the song of love that the universe plays all around us every day. That love song whispers through our neurons, echoing through the 27 trillion cells in our bodies, and harmonizing with melodies in the field around us.”

He argues that the “good old days” are a myth and that overall, life on planet earth is getting better! Here are some of the positives Dawson Church mentioned as he was researching the book:

Between 2000 and 2015, one billion people (one-seventh of the world’s population) escaped poverty.
The life span of the average global citizen has doubled in the past century.
In developed countries, the proportion of government spending on education and relief for the poor rose from under 2% to 22%.
Deforestation of the Amazon rainforest dropped by 4/5ths between 2004 and 2013.
Google searches for homophobic, racist, and misogynistic terms have decreased by at least 80% since 2004.
Despite the interruption of horrific wars, each century has been more peaceful than the one that preceded it.
From 1960 through today, the American poverty rate, measured by income, has fallen by more than half.
World carbon emissions per dollar of GDP have dropped by 50% in 50 years.
Child labor, infant mortality, maternal mortality, and domestic violence have all been declining globally.
The proportion of the world’s people without access to clean air and water has roughly halved in a decade.
The percentage of people meditating has quadrupled in the last ten years.

“Scanning for the Good” keeps your energy postive:

I know —despite Dawson’s facts, there are still a lot of bad things happening in the world. But really, when isn’t there? What’s important is that we don’t get discouraged so we can keep our energy positive and take on the things that need to be changed.

So, take a moment right now to scan through your own life and bring some of the wonderful things to the forefront. Savour them for a moment. As you do, notice how the thoughts re-invigorate your energy. That energy is important. It’s going to fuel the changes we need to make. And because it fuels a person’s ability to make change, it’s a tool I want you to know about and use.

As always, I want the best for you and the best for our world.

Confusion About Confusion

November 27, 2019 By Karen Leave a Comment

This morning I was watching a video on how we make ourselves confused. The video was from Donald Miller and is one of a series in his Business Made Simple Daily offering. These videos are short, only 3 or 4 minutes long and give the tricks and tools of running a business. Many of them talk about the principals in his book, StoryBrand, which I highly recommend.

This morning he was talking about how we sometimes choose to be confused and what we can do if we find ourselves in that situation. This is important because confusion is the quagmire of decision making and being successful in our chosen professions means we have to make decisions quickly and well.

So, how do we choose to get confused?

Let’s say you have a staff person that’s difficult, very difficult and you’re thinking about letting that person go. The minute you think this, you remember the health issues this person has and wince at the thought of adding to their burdens. Besides that, work-wise, you need this person and don’t know how you’ll find the time to interview and hire someone else. On and on the mind will go, throwing more and more complexity at you until you don’t know what to do.

Donald suggests this formula. Say to yourself: “The unfortunate truth of this situation is _____________________, therefore, the right action to take is ______________”

This statement will help you drop out of your head and into your body. I like to tweak Donald’s sentence so it reads: “Even though I don’t want to admit it, the unfortunate, but barebone truth of this situation is ____________________, therefor the right action to take is ________________”

Picture of confusion

Confusion Can Be So Confusing!

It’s helpful to remember that “confusion” is a mind thing. Sentence Completions are a great way to drop out of the confusion and get down to basics. I discuss them in my book, Find Your Inner Gold, 21 Powerful Tools to Bring Back Your Shine. In the book, I also outline a kinesthetic exercise that will help access your body knowing. Here is one such technique you can try on your own:

Pick a situation you want to make a decision about. Stand and imagine that situation in front of you. Close your eyes and just breathe for a minute or two. As you settle, notice whether your body is feeling an inclination forward, so you’re moving closer to this situation, or away, so you would be more distant from the situation. The inclination to go forward or back may be very subtle or it may be very strong. This will usually tell you what your body thinks about going forward or not. Or, if you truly are undecided, you may find yourself swaying from side to side. If that’s the case, you aren’t ready to make a decision.

If you’d like to learn more about these tools, please check out my book or contact me, and we can discuss how you can use these tools more effectively. My mission is to give people the tools to feel more in charge of themselves and their lives.

If you’d like to check out Don’s email, here’s the link:

Have a great week! I’m Canadian, so I’ve done my trial by turkey, but for my American friends, have a good one.