Archive for Resources
Changing Ourselves!
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Okay, you’ve identified something you need & want to change in yourself and so you just do it, right?
We wish! Most often, despite all our attempts, we fall back again and again into old behaviours. That’s because these behaviours have been passed down to us and are installed in our energetic systems. It’s not easy to eradicate them.
Why Changing Ourselves is So Challenging!
Which group of people is more likely to abuse their children–those that have been abused or those that haven’t? The answer is: those who were abused. You’d think that people who’d experienced the terrors of child abuse would be the least likely to repeat this behaviour. Not true. Why? New brain research supports this with explanations of how ‘tracks’ get laid down in our bodies and brains. These ‘tracks’ can be as deep as troughs & be very difficult to get out of. They act as a kind of trance that we can’t wake up from.
Unskilful Ways for Changing Ourselves:
Sometimes people will use shame or chastisement to blast themselves out, but not only does this feel terrible, even if it does bring some change, the pattern usually comes back full force.
So, what does work? Repetition of the new behaviour. Repetition will lay down new tracks, making it easier and easier to do. The lovely poem below by Portia Nelson says it all so well. I love this poem because it creates compassion for ourselves as we go through the steps that changing ourselves involves. If we recognize that changing ourselves is often slow & incremental, then it will be easier for us to be patient and give the process the time it needs. That will help us to hold to the new behaviour rather than chucking it out of frustration.
A Resource for Changing Ourselves!
But before the poem, I want to tell you about something. A colleague of mine, Rachel Assuncao, has developed a 14 day e-course that’s designed to help you make simple and manageable changes to improve your health. I’ve just done it myself and loved it. Although some of the material was familiar, the repetition was good and some of the material was new to me. I really liked that.
The course, called 14 Days to a Healthier New You, offers a daily practical tip or recipe to help you improve your health and wellbeing. The course is free and I highly recommend it.
To learn more, or sign up, click HERE:
Give it a shot. I think you’ll like it. Now, here’s the poem.
By Portia Nelson
AUTOBIOGRAPHY IN 5 SHORT CHAPTERS:
I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in
I am lost . . . I am helpless
It isn’t my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.
Chapter II
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don’t see it.
I fall in again.
I can’t believe I am in the same place.
But, it isn’t my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.
Chapter III
I walk down the same street
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in . . . it’s a habit.
My eyes are open.
I know where I am.
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.
Chapter IV
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.
Chapter V
I walk down another street.
Your Many Talents!
Posted by: | CommentsMy guess is that you’ve got several talents. Right? One or two might be latent or underdeveloped, but nonetheless, one might be sitting like a seed in the dark fecund soil of your soul, waiting for you to water it.
I think for us to be fully happy we need to develop all our talents.
New Book!
For me, although most of you know me as a coach, I’m also a writer. In the last few weeks, I’ve been engrossed in doing the final edits for a young adult fiction book that’s being published by Dundurn Press this November. (My fifth book!)
What an incredible amount of work it’s been! (That’s why I’ve been remiss at writing newsletters, but more will come now.)
Meanwhile, here’s a delightful video that speaks to the beauty of complexity and commitment! Enjoy!
PS: If YOU want to talk about how to develop a passion/talent you have sitting inside you, give me a call & we’ll chat about it.
When Things Get Crazy
Posted by: | CommentsQuote: “Obstacles can’t stop you. Problems can’t stop you. Most of all, other people can’t stop you. Only you can stop you.” — Jeffrey Gitomer, Author and Sales Trainer
Toyota has been getting a lot of attention lately for their SUA problem (Sudden Unintended Acceleration) and it got me thinking about other times in life when things speed out of control.
The experts have suggested a variety of strategies that will be helpful if SUA happens to your car, and I’ve added some ideas about how those suggestions can be helpful in life.
1. Stay Calm: Staying calm isn’t just a good thing to do–your life may depend upon it. Survivors of major disasters always have this one trait in common. They didn’t panic. This is great advice for when things go crazy in our lives as well. If you need help with this, I’ve just posted some short, but calming meditations on my Happiness Anyway website–check them out by going to MEDITATIONS
2. Don’t turn off the engine: Think of it–the engine provides power to the power steering and brakes, so if you turn off the engine, you’ve just cashed out of any chance of buying yourself a different outcome. It’s the same with relationships, and jobs–don’t turn off the engine. Stay IN the situation and figure it out. That’s the only long term way of being successful.
3. Apply uniform and consistent pressure to the brakes: Don’t pump. In life, we need to be consistent about saying “No”, consistent about our goals and habits. Doing them sometimes and not others (pumping) won’t do it.
4. Shift into neutral: I like this suggestion a lot, because it’s one area where I see people botching things up. Don’t keep at a conversation when the other person has clearly tuned you out. Don’t keep pushing for a solution when your body is exhausted. Don’t say or do more until things ease up a bit.
5. Move to a side lane: Pulling over (but not exiting) a situation is often a wise choice. It will allow us to get a break from the chaos, reassess and call in the help we need.
TWO AWESOME RESOURCES:
Bob Proctor, a Canadian entrepreneur who’s been hugely successful, is offering a daily video series for a buck. You can cancel for no reason if you like at the end of a month. I like Bob Proctor so I signed up and I’m loving the videos. They are 6 minutes each and delivered to your box every day and talk about everything from creating wealth to handling difficult emotions. Here’s the link.
https://sixminutes.infusionsoft.com/go/SM2SV4/inic1984
LAST BUT NOT LEAST:
This is your last opportunity to enter the Month of Free Coaching Draw. To be eligible, all you have to do is sign up for my blog at my new Happiness Anyway site. Not only will you get lots of tips and tools for being “Happy Anyway”, you’ll create a chance for yourself to win a free month of coaching. If you’re interested, do it today as I’m picking the winner tomorrow!
Perspective Matters!
Posted by: | CommentsHold your hand up, palm forward. Now turn it to the side. Same hand, but it looks entirely different. The difference, as you know, is perspective. Before reading the funny story below, let me say a bit more about perspective.
Successful people learn to switch their perspective to keep their energy high. If you tell yourself that “Business is terrible”, or that “No one cares about me”, you’re not going to have much energy. But if you tell yourself, “Business is recovering” and that “Many people value me”, not only will you feel more like taking your life/business on, but brain science tells us, you’ll be changing your future.
We now have solid scientific studies that prove the fact that “Neurons that fire together, wire together”. What this means is that the more you repeat a thought or action, the stronger the neurological patterns become and the more easily that thought or action can recur.
That’s what makes it so difficult to change our perspective sometimes–the pathways are so well trodden, we can slip into them easily. Developing new ones may feel like a slog at first, but it’s worth it for our thoughts shape our actions and our actions shape our future.
Here’s the fun story:
Bill was working on his family genealogy and found out his great-great uncle, Remus Starr was hanged for horse stealing and train robbery in Montana in 1889. He even found a photo of Remus, showing him standing on the gallows. On the back of the picture were the words:
“Remus Starr–Horse thief, sent to Montana Territorial Prison, 1885. Escaped 1887, robbed the Montana Flyer six times. Caught by Pinkerton detectives, convicted and hanged, 1889.”
Bill decided to revise things a bit. He cropped the picture into a head shot, then he rewrote the text:
“Remus Starr was a famous cowboy in the Montana Territory. His business empire grew to include the acquisition of valuable equestrian assets and included intimate dealings with the Montana railroad. Beginning in 1885, he devoted several years of his life to service at a government facility, finally taking a key role in a vital investigation run by the renowned Pinkerton Detective Agency, In 1889, Remus passed away during an important civic function held in his honor when the platform upon which he was standing collapsed.”
Now that’s a change in perspective! (Maybe Bill should consider a job in gov’t public relations!)
RICH THINKING
Posted by: | CommentsRich thinking. Poor thinking. We all do both.
Rich thinking isn’t just about money — it’s the kind of thinking that makes us feel lush and able. And poor thinking is the opposite–it makes you feel limited and not able.
If you want to find out what your default kind of thinking is, watch yourself the next time you hit a glitch. Like I did this morning.
There I was, doing a bit of clean up on my website (I took a great website creation workshop last spring that I’m going to tell you more about next time) when I must have pressed the wrong button, for suddenly, all the content in my widgets disappeared. And I couldn’t get it back!
This was bad. And what made it worse was that this was the second time I’d done this.
The ‘poor’ thoughts were right there. “You don’t know what you’re doing.” “You keep screwing up.” “You’ll never get this right.” As these thoughts played through my mind, all I wanted to do was push my computer away and give up.
Luckily for me, I recognized this and substituted more expansive thoughts. They were far kinder: “You’re just learning, it’s okay to mistakes, sometimes over and over.” “You’ll get it right.” “It’s great that you’re even trying to do this yourself.”
Needless to say, these thoughts felt good, and created enough energy so that I went right back and fixed the mess I’d inadvertently created. It didn’t take as long as I thought.
This thought substitution is something one of my clients does very, very well. In fact, she’s so good at it, she’s now teaching other people. Her new course, called The Rich Thinking Way is starting soon and I wanted to tell you about it.
It’s a 12 week teleclass, starting March 3rd and she’s offering people the chance to try it out for 2 weeks– free!
We all know we should think more richly, but Jane’s course will teach you how to do that on a very deep level, so that it becomes part of who you are, not just something to try to do now and then.
In the course, youll get an in-depth experience of not only how you currently think, but how changing your thoughts will change your life. She’ll also teach you how to align your soul with your business, charge what you need to charge for business success and much, much more. Jane’s rich in all she does, so what you’ll get will be wonderful.
To sign up or find out more, here’s the link! Tell Jane I sent you. She’s awesome!
http://www.richthinkers.co.uk/align-with-soul/?utm_source=karen&utm_medium=email&utm_content=ad-text&utm_term=email1&utm_campaign=RichThinkingWay2010-01
FIGURING THINGS OUT
Posted by: | CommentsPERSONAL BEST COACHING PRESENTS:
It’s Okay Not To Know How!
Sometimes we put ourselves under a lot of pressure to know ‘How’ to do something. Sometimes we even stop ourselves from proceeding because we don’t know ‘how’.
Don’t!
Reassure yourself by realizing that many, many highly successful people have started businesses, relationships, projects etc without having a clue how they were going to pull the task to completion. In fact, sometimes not knowing ‘how’ gives us the freedom to explore in entirely new ways.
Take Mark Zuckerberg, the founder of Facebook. Do you think he knew anything about how to set up a social networking site? No way! He started before the term ’social networking’ site even existed. In fact, his motivation for the site initially was to create a place to meet girls! Now, according to an annual list published by Forbes magazine, Mark is the youngest ever self-made billionaire. The magazine put the
former Harvard student’s personal wealth at 1.5 billion dollars.
So, don’t worry about not knowing how. Just get started. Set out. You’ll figure it out as you go. Don’t get me wrong. You still have to be clear about what you want. That’s given. But if you worry about the ‘how’, you’ll stop yourself before you’ve even begun.
Don’t even worry if your business, relationship, project is failing. Even if all looks lost, that doesn’t mean you can’t figure it out and turn things around. Think of Thomas Edison who had over 10,000 filed attempts at the light bulb. Or, Richard Bach, the author who wrote about a seagull! He was turned down by 18 publishers for his 10,000 word story about the soaring bird before Macmillan finally published it in 1970. By 1975 it had sold over 7 million copies in the U.S. alone.
It’s even okay if you find yourself questioning your ability to do what it takes–you’re in good company:
* Beethoven was told by his teacher that he handled the violin awkwardly and called him a hopeless composer.
* Charles Darwin, was considered a very ordinary boy with nothing special going for him.
* Henry Ford went broke 5 times before he finally succeeded.
* Walt Disney was a cartoonist who liked to draw mice–who would have ever thought he could make millions from that?
What made these people successful?
1) Having a clear vision.
2) Taking action. Over and over again.
3) Staying positive when their attempts did not work.
Life gives us all the feedback we need about whether we’re on track. So, as Tony Robbins says, you want to take what he calls ‘massive actions’ so you can get the feedback you need to be successful. The more actions you take, the more feedback you’ll get. And the more feedback you get, the more you’ll be able to guide yourself along the path to success.
ALL THESE PEOPLE FIGURED IT OUT—YOU CAN TOO!
And if you’d like some expert help in figuring out ‘how’, try me for a free 30-minute over-the-phone “Idea” session. I love giving them and of course, there’s no obligation to go further. Everyone who has one always tells me how helpful
