Author Archive
Making A Difference!
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Making a Difference!
This is an eyewitness account that happened in the City of New York, on a cold day in December some time ago…
A little boy about 10 years old was standing before a shoe store on Broadway, barefooted, peering through the window, and shivering with cold.
A lady approached the boy and said, “My little fellow, why are you looking so earnestly in that window?”
“I was asking God to give me a pair of shoes,” was the boys reply.
The lady took him by the hand and went into the store, and asked the clerk to get half a dozen pairs of socks for the boy. She then asked if he could give her a basin of water and a towel, and he replied: “Certainly,” and quickly brought them to her. The lady took the boy to the back part of the store and, removing her gloves, knelt down, washed his little feet and dried them with a towel.
By this time the clerk had returned with the socks. Placing a pair upon the boy’s feet, she purchased him a pair of shoes, and tying up the remaining pairs of socks, gave them to him.
She patted him on the head and as she turned to go, the astonished boy caught her by the hand, and looking up in her face, with tears in his eyes, answered the question with these words,
“Are you God’s Wife?”
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You, too, can be God (or an Angel or Fairygodmother/father)
This story shows how any of us can be “god” or an “angel” or “fairy godmother/father” to another. The truth is that you CAN make a difference if you decide to.
To me, that’s the gift of this time of year. To realize the incredible power you have in any moment to be godlike, loving, generous and BIG!
I hope you take every opportunity you can to be BIG this holiday season. The gift will be as wonderful if not MORE wonderful for you than for anyone else.
Boosting Your Self-Confidence!
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Here is a quick, but wonderful exercise to help you boost your Self-Confidence:
Step #1: Boost Your Self-Confidence:
Vision Yourself: Imagine that you’re dreaming and you can look at yourself how you are right now-where you’re sitting, what you’re wearing, how you’re holding yourself, what you’re thinking and feeling. Be as honest as possible with yourself, visualizing every detail. Rate your current level of self-confidence between 1 and 10, 1 being low and 10 being high.
Step #2: Upgrade Your Vision:
Now, start removing any negative aspects of your self-image, brightening it up with positive images. Make yourself look more powerful, stronger, more confident, more sure of yourself. You may only make a few small changes, but create an image of yourself in your mind that accentuates all the positive traits you know you have. If you feel your smile is good, focus on that in your self-image. Rate your level of confidence in this vision.
Step 3: Super-Size Your Self Confidence:
We all know what it’s like to focus on all the small negative things–our big teeth perhaps, or some personality trait we don’t like. But, do the exact opposite here. Blow up those positive traits to super-size proportions and hold this image in your mind.
Step 4: Compare the Images:
Now put your two images next to each other, placing the person you reflexively see against the person you want to see. In the next few weeks, just keep focusing on the second image, not the first. Take actions to actualize this new self into the world–for example, wear the clothes this new self-confident you would wear, take the stance, use the language and take the actions your expanded self would take. Let the vision of this new self show you the way!
If you wanted to be stronger physically, you’d do some strength training. You wouldn’t expect new physical strength to just happen. It’s the same with self-confidence. This exercise is like a bench press for self-confidence. Use it over and over again and watch your self-confidence grow.
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SPECIAL REQUEST:
I have just started a fan page for Personal Best Coaching in Facebook. If you like this article, would you go to http://www.personalbest.org and click the ‘Thumbs Up’ thing in the box that says “Find us on Facebook’? THANKS! K.
Self-Development Questions
Posted by: | CommentsSelf-Development Questions
Questions are like fireworks when it comes to self-development. They shoot your thinking out of the box and into the sky of possibility. Creative people and anyone who’s entrepreneurial need to be using them all the time, but really, they are powerful for anyone who wants to stimulate their mind and solve problems more effectively.
I recommend you print out this list of self-development questions and keep it by your computer. Use it whenever you feel stuck or want inspiration around a problem.
Ten Top Self-Development Questions:
Write down 3-5 points for each of the following questions:
1. In what way(s) might this problem be a good thing?
2. How might I profit from this problem?
3. Who would look at this problem as something great?
4. Why would it be great for that particular person?
6. How can I develop this person’s viewpoint at least temporarily?
7. What is the key obstacle that if removed would solve my problem?
8. What are my beliefs in regard to this problem? Are they true?
9. Do my beliefs about my own capabilities need adjusting?
10. What am I assuming to be true that may not be true?
Wow–I can practically see the fireworks of new thinking going on in your mind.
Learning New Skills
Posted by: | CommentsSometimes when we’re learning something new, we just have to keep after ourselves to stick with it. We can’t let ourselves off the hook. That doesn’t mean we don’t give ourselves lots of breaks and time to recuperate, but we treat the part of ourselves that’s reluctant like this mother otter treats her baby offspring–she is kind, but firmly persistent in helping her offspring learn to swim. Why? Because the mother realizes that her baby has to either evolve and learn new skills or die.
I believe humanity is at the same place. We’ve moved into a very special time on the planet where learning is not optional. It’s “Evolve or Die” for us too. I know that’s a strong thing to say, but I believe it’s true. But growing up is fun too and offers us all kinds of new opportunities.
So, even if you’re reluctant to learn something new, persist anyway. And enjoy this video!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QpTqV6LPl8c
Taking Charge of YOUR Health
Posted by: | CommentsFor the last year, I’ve been researching Vitamin D.
Why?
Because I want to be the best I can be and feeling vibrantly healthy is part of that. Also, I choose to be in charge of creating good health rather than reacting to a health problem, whether that be something small like a cold or flu or a problem of more severe consequence.
What got me started on Vitamin D was last year’s scare about the H1N1 virus. When I read some of the articles on what was in the inoculation, I decided to increase my general health and vitalize my immune system rather than take something so untested and possibly toxic.
That led me to Vitamin D.
Research is showing that most people living in the norther US and Canada are deficient in Vitamin D, particularly between October and May. Because of rampant fears about skin cancer, however, people are avoiding the sun even in the summer months or wearing sun screen, so Vitamin D deficiency is showing up at all times of the year now.
But sunlight is hugely important for our health. Dr. Mercola, (www.mercola.com) a noted alternative medicine practicioner, says that not only is Vitamin D crucial for avoiding colds and flu, but that a person can decrease the risk of cancer significantly by optimizing vitamin D levels.
Apparently, Vitamin D influences the immune system to attack and destroy bacteria and viruses. With the upcoming months of lessened sunshine ahead and the cold and flu season about to erupt, taking vitamin D may be significant. According to Mercola, it is very rare for someone with optimized vitamin D levels to come down with the flu.
Based on the most recent research, the current recommendation is 35 IU’s of vitamin D per pound of body weight. So for a child weighing 40 pounds, the recommended average dose would be 1,400 IU’s daily, and for a 170-pound adult, the dose would be nearly 6,000 IU’s.
The typical adult dose is 5,000-6,000 units per day. Avoid taking 1,000-2,000 units and thinking you are doing ok. In all likelihood, you’re NOT.
But don’t take my word for it–do your own research. Mercola’s site had some great Vitamin D studies and there are a ton of others on the Internet.
I am NOT recommending that you take Vitamin D–that’s up to you. But what I am recommending is that you take charge of your own health! That’s a powerful thing to do! Part of being YOUR personal best!
Six Success Conditioning Strategies!
Posted by: | Comments(This one’s for you LB.)
One of the women I’m working with has just been asked to do something she’s dreamed of being asked to do (it’s so exciting), but it’s frightening her as well.
We all have times when life offers us our best dreams only to find ourselves scared about our ability to rise to the offering!
Here’s what I suggest to people in this situation:
1) Acknowledge the fear–but, acknowledge it in a way that makes it only a part of you. After all, even though new opportunities may stir up fear, they often stir up other emotions too, like excitement. When we acknowledge all the various parts, we’re more able to stop ourselves from identifying with just the fear and that will provide us all kinds of wiggle room to grow. Changing your language to reflect this will help. Say, “Part of me is scared….” rather than “I’m scared.”
It’s kind of like a parent dealing with a frightened child. If the parent got frightened too, that wouldn’t be very helpful to the child. As you can imagine, for the parent to help, he/she needs to listen and be supportive, not IN the fear as well.
2. As you listen to your frightened part, see if you can hear what it needs emotionally & be as responsive as you can about meeting that emotional need. If you think of that part as a child, it will help.
3) Take lots of quiet time. When we’re transitioning to our best selves, it can take a while for our energy to shift into the new way. You may need lots of non-doing time to adjust–just as a caterpillar needs to cocoon before emerging as a butterfly. Give this to yourself.
4) Even if you have never done well at what’s newly required before, don’t worry. Keep reminding yourself that your body grows new cells ALL the time and the past doesn’t matter unless you say it does.
5) Spend time in the imaginal realms SEEING, HEARING and FEELING yourself handling the new situation/task/project with the greatest of ease and skill. ALL top athletes do this and they do this for a reason. It works.
6) Focus on your passion for the project, NOT your performance. This is crucial. Think of a mother giving birth–she doesn’t think about how she’s performing, or even about the pain, but focuses on her excitement about seeing the baby. She lets her excitement pull her forward. Ditto.
As Fritz Perls, the great psychiatrist said, “Anxiety is the gap between now and then.” Hopefully these strategies will help you make that gap smaller, so there’s no leap, only a lovely long stride into the new you!
Join Me In The Bathroom
Posted by: | CommentsThere I was, about to take a shower and I couldn’t find my shower cap.
“Who took it?”
Various possibilities went through my head–each of them involving someone not caring for me and my stuff. I could feel my irritation rising and my body began to feel the stress of that.
Luckily, I’ve learned the word, “Whoa!”
I got off this train of thought and took a breath. Then I remembered that I myself had taken the shower cap to another house…… hmmmm………
“Good catch,” I said to myself as I wrapped a towel around my head to cover my hair.
Stopping myself like that was good. I did what you might call an ‘intervention” on myself. The word ‘intervention” is one that Tony Robbins uses a lot. I am taking the Tony Robbins-Cloe Madanes Strategic Intervention course right now and he always tells us to catch the questions you ask yourself!
I could have asked, “Where did I put it?” but I asked a question that had blame laced right into it. Which is what Tony is trying to get us to see by looking at the questions/reactions that come up when we hit a wobble in our lives. These ‘reactions’ are what I call ‘defaults’ because they show us our general psychological orientation.
Another person might have asked, “Why does this always happen to me?” (victim default)
Or, “I wonder how my partner will feel when I don’t do something HE likes!” (revenge default)
Or, “I don’t have to put up with this crap…..” (anger default)
As you can see, each question/reaction has the emotional pattern embedded right into it.
Of course! We all run our patterns all the time. They just kick in, kind of by default. So, people who blame will seek to blame, people who get sad, will get sad, people who tend to collapse, will collapse. It really has nothing to do with the situation.
This is powerful information because once you know your ‘default’, you can catch it running and do an intervention. Like I did this morning.
And after I caught it, the shower, was great.
This week, when things go wrong, see what questions YOU ask yourself.
Be A Learner!
Posted by: | CommentsDo you use words like, “Absolutely!”, “Certainly!”, “No question!”
Or phrases like, “The reality is…”, or “The truth is….”
I use them too from time to time, but I’m trying not to.
Why? Because the older I get, the more I realize that life is essentially a mystery and I’m less inclined to want to box it up into anything firm or fixed. I’m more interested these days in letting it be the deliciously fluid thing that it is!
Don’t get me wrong, part of me would ‘absolutely’ love to nail ‘life’ down into some sort of certainty, but I can see that my wanting of that is more about my own need to create a sense of stability than anything else. (Eckhart Tolle says this is the small ego-based self trying to shore up its sense of importance). If I really acknowledged how uncertain it is and let my language reflect that, I might have to face some fear.
Lately, however, I’ve been experiencing the advantages of not knowing. First of all, it’s more fun ‘not to know’. Allowing myself ‘not to know’ lets me be a learner and once I do that, life becomes much more of an adventure. It also becomes more exciting and makes me feel more alive!
That’s one of the reasons I love September–it’s a time of expansion, a time to pick up some new skills or interests. That’s not only fun to do, but it’s good for the healthy functioning of the brain!
So how about taking that sculpture course you’ve seen advertised? Or what about learning Spanish? Or signing up for that screenplay weekend? Whatever it is, let yourself be a learner.
And if you want to learn how to do a website, here’s a course I can highly recommend. It’s Christina Hill’s Website Creation Workshop. You take it online and there’s videos and a live classroom each week where she reviews your student project. I learned so much in this course that I was able to revamp one website and do another from scratch. But the BEST part, was that the learning was easy and fun. There was no techie language or steep learning curve and I love that I can now manage my own site(s).
Anyway, if you’re interested, tomorrow, August 26th at 2 pm (EST), she hosting a free webinar called ‘Planning Your Website’. In the ‘class’, you’ll get to ‘meet’ Christina and learn about WordPress. To register for the course, click HERE!
Or, to check out the course on it’s own, go HERE!
Or, here’s the URL:
http://thewebsitecreationworkshop.com/a/?af=1079349
Happy learning!
Mike Dooley
Posted by: | CommentsSummer–what a great time for dreaming! Dreaming has gotten a bad rap. Which is too bad because it’s important. Very important. Because if you can’t imagine something, you definitely can’t attract it or create it.
So, when you’re spending some time on the deck/dock, let yourself do some ‘focused dreaming’. Dare to create some specific and detailed dreams about what you want to create.
To help you understand more deeply the relationship between dreaming and creating, here’s short video clip by Mike Dooley, who is on tour just now, talking about how “thoughts are things” and why it’s important to choose our thoughts wisely. He’s interesting and funny! I’ve been getting his daily “Notes from the Universe” for years now and love him. Check him out for yourself:
